The journey to connection

I had the wonderful opportunity to catch up with my friend Holly Arballo last week and I am excited to share her with you as my guest this week.  Holly is a Singer, Songwriter, Musician who is originally from Vermont.  She recently received the grand prize for best original song "Winter of Love"  and the fan favorite award at the Live and Amplified's 48 Hour Songwriting Challenge! She will be releasing that song later this month!

Her song "October" was chosen for the "Songs For Life" compilation album made by the Crowdcare Foundation to raise money for cancer research and to give to the patients to help uplift them. It was judged by the Piano Guys and other judges from American Idol.

Holly Arballo

Singer/Songwriter/musician

The journey to connection

Susan: You and I have been friends since I started hypothesis testing for FollowMyGig about 3 years ago and we’ve worked together on a couple of projects since then.  We both really love Brené Brown and have shared conversations on the topic of connection before. It just seemed natural to explore that topic again today.  Can you tell me about your experiences with connecting with your audience?

Holly: Sure, I have one song in particular called “Sober” that really brought me a lot of positive feedback from my listeners.  I was really kind of afraid to share it with them.  I only put out a 15 second clip originally just to test it out and to see what people thought about it.

It’s about a break-up which is something I had never written about before. I thought everyone thought it was stupid or not genuine whenever I tried to attempt writing songs with a serious topic.  I got a ton of approval and people commenting telling me that they connected with my song and thanked me for putting it out there so they could listen to it and connect with those emotions.  They all said they have been there, understood those emotions and were grateful for the song.

Ever since I started writing music at thirteen I have only written upbeat songs that are very broad, warm and happy. That has always kind of been my go to but recently over the past year or so, I started questioning everything and trying to process all the information that I had been taught growing up.

When I was in high school  and college  I was the person that would always say “Don't post your depressing stuff on social media” and I thought people that did were just attention seekers but now I think it's totally dumb to pretend that life is all happy and pleasant all the time.  It's more genuine and authentic to share difficulties when they happen and they give us the opportunity to connect with others.  I have learned that It's nice to see both sides and be able to find balance.  I think it's important that we take the opportunity to help others if and when we can.

I don't know what good it does to hold everything in and not talk about our struggles. It feels really crappy to hold everything in and to think no one cares or will listen to you.  Music has been a great outlet for me to express feelings and it has a great way of allowing a broader audience to connect with me. Everyone has gone through a breakup, suffered a loss, or struggled with some obstacle at some point in their lives.   

When I tried to write deep and meaningful songs in the past I just felt inadequate like I couldn't do it! I felt like I had to have some really hard trials to endure before I felt qualified to create a song where I could express such serious topics. I have definitely had several trying times over the past few years and I realized that those are the defining moments that allow us to grow and become stronger.  Without the obstacles that challenge us to get outside of our comfort zone we don’t realize what we are truly capable of and those are the experiences that help us to connect with others that may be going through similar trials. I feel super lucky that I can play music and express feelings to connect with others that may understand.

Susan:  What Myth would you like to dispel?

Holly: That there is no one out there that wants to listen or understands when you are experiencing a difficulty; quite the opposite is true. I think people forget that there is a lot more help out there and people are willing to listen when you are going through a difficult trial.

The hardship may have been the purpose to connect you with certain people.  There is always a silver lining or something positive that can come out of a trial.  We were almost homeless when my husband got out of the military.  His PTSD was so severe and his adjustment to civilian life was near impossible.  During that time it was so difficult but now I am certified as his full-time caregiver and have been able to overcome the fear that I have no job skills to take care of my family.  I would have been stuck and very stagnate if I had not had that opportunity. I am headed towards the other side of self-doubt now and well on my way to finding other new talents due to the momentum I gained from overcoming that obstacle.

Susan: What is a current goal that you are working on achieving?

Holly: Doing things based on my own opinion not on someone else's. I have so much admiration for a hero of mine that lives by her own sense of fashion and style her name is Caroline Rose and I got to see her open once for Noah Gundersen. I am also a big fan of his.  I decided then that I would like to set a goal to open for Noah Gundersen one day too. Here is short set by Caroline Rose. https://youtu.be/EnYBuPmwXuc and here is the link to the Noah Gundersen YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJMrvlVhrZYgP0MVoAUG1rw

I was down in Las Angeles and had the opportunity to meet Noah after one of his shows. I was going to ask him about connecting with him but I we too scared.  I went and got in the car and was ready to leave but was kicking myself for not asking him so I made myself get out of the car and went back in to talk to him.  I was so nervous meeting him and being able to have a conversation with him that  I talked so much and really fast and didn't even pause long enough for him to answer. I ended up just leaving without even bringing it up and then cried on the way home.  I was just too star struck.  

Susan: I can certainly relate to that feeling when I met Joshua James I did the same dang thing! You could see the confusion in his eyes his expression was like, what? I got to meet William Fitzsimmons a few months ago and feel like I held it together a little bit better that time.  I am sure the opportunity will present itself again for you and Noah.  What is something that you are working on overcoming?

Holly:  I am working on not second guessing myself.  I always go back and forth when I am songwriting.  Sometimes I feel very confident that  I know I am going to make it because my music does have what it takes and then I will sway back to the other end of the spectrum and feel like I will never make it.

I used to really care about what other people think about me to the point that I wouldn’t really try things for my self but with this past year I do believe I am finally in a good place with that.  I do what I do for me not for anyone else.  It’s because I want to, it feels good to me and it’s who I am.  I struggled for a long time thinking that I needed to pick a persona. Finding a place with my music has been so hard. It has gotten so much easier for me now that I am making those decisions based on what I want and what I feel.

Susan: What is something you are grateful for?

Holly: I'm just really lucky and happy that I can find joy and happiness even in the difficult times by doing something so simple as getting out in nature. Everyone has that available to them, this beautiful world that we are surrounded by. My husband and my daughter, my dogs and my ability to stretch and grow.

Susan:  What or who inspires you?

Holly: People who share positive energy and kindness with others because it is so rewarding to do the same.  It is contagious and motivates me to jump in.  It's nice to see that in the world.  Also when people overcome their trials and by doing so are a great examples of success.  Stephen Hawking, for example, is a huge inspiration to me.  He has accomplished so much by not giving up and staying true to his passion.

Thank you so much Holly for visiting with me today it’s always a pleasure to chat about your journey. I am really looking forward to hearing your upcoming album! Here is the link to your website so our readers can follow along and support your music too. http://hollyarballomusic.com/